I wish I had heard about this sooner. For instance, I wouldn’t have put so much effort into making a nice raised veggie garden out back. I might have bought better Scotch. I could have slept in a few mornings. Unfortunately I only heard about the apocalypse this morning. Here’s a brief except from the website:
The Apocalypse will Suck!
For those left behind, they will instantly know that they were wrong, Jesus DOES exist! May 21st Doomsday will start with a Global Earthquake to mark the return of Jesus, while the true believers are brought to Heaven, the non-believers will be in the presence of the Lord. Jesus will start ruling the Earth on May 21st, at the start of the Apocalypse 2011, and rule over the earth for 5 months. During these 5 months of torment life will suck. Those waiting for the End of the World to come will experience the Battle of Armageddon between Jesus and Satan until the king wins on October 21, 2011. Once Jesus defeats the Devil on October 21 the End of the World will come when God destroys the Earth faster than he created it.
This is particularly unfortunate because after several days of rain, Saturday promises to be a really nice sunny day. I was going to plant my tomatoes. Is there anything in particular you want to get done before the apocalypse?
27th Street 
After all the rain we have had my lawn is in serious need of cutting but it must be right to just leave it until Sunday just in case. Actually, at some point on friday it will already be saturday somewhere else in the world so all we have to do is to log in to one of their websites on friday to see if the world is still there. Errr wait, maybe it will end here on saturday and sunday in China. This is all very confusing.
I have no particular plans leading up to the rapture, but I plan to go looting the day after.
The Apocalypse is going to put a serious damper on the Calgary Folk Festival, though.
Plant your garden, Mr. Anchovy. I have an inside track and the world won’t end on May 21st. BUT, if it were – I would see if I could gather my family about me and we’d have a huge dinner with no worry about calories. AND/ OR – I would go to where nature is its very best, roll in the dirt and decaying leaves and inhale deeply and gaze up into the sunshine and feel its warmth, I would gobble up the sounds of the birds, I would hug the trees, lick the flower petals and pay attention to their textures and taste, and simply contemplate what a grand place it was to be. But I wouldn’t be afraid. Much.
Good grief! How could you not know about this until now? There are huge billboards plastered all over the place. Even Barrie has a bunch. I think it is important to eat all your morels and drink all your scotch before then because I doubt that sort of stuff will survive. I want to go out and load up on supplies but I am not quite sure what sort of supplies I will need. Probably a good hardhat would come in handy if there is going to be a global earthquake. Maybe a couple extra bottles of deet if some pestilence happens. And maybe a couple cases of Kraft dinner. Beyond that I am sorta stumped. Maybe top up the gas tank on the car.
These folks have spent a mind numbing amount of money advertising the event and you probably wouldn’t do that unless you were pretty sure you were right. There are billboards all over the country and either these guys have serious funding behind them or payment isn’t due until the 22nd. I find it really hard to get my mind around the end of the world happening and even harder to get my mind around someone knowing about it in advance. For example if it was me who had that advance knowledge I would probably do something other than put up billboards although I admit Im not quite sure what I would do. Certainly the whole end of the world thing would be more believable if we had elected Tug Layton and his NDP party to run the country.
I’ve long suspected that you had a bomb shelter out behind the barn with a serious store of dried morels, a huge water tank, and a fine selection of scotch. The problem is making it Apocalypse proof. We’re talking about an angry God here, not just a few nuclear bombs.
I just had a sprinkler system put in on Monday. The Good News is that they haven’t sent me the bill yet.
If you lived up here, you wouldn’t have ordered the sprinkler system. I can hardly remember the last rain-free day we’ve had.