I pick up the phone and can here the tell-tale noises coming from some huge overseas telemarketer outfit. I know in my heart it’s a guy selling duct cleaning. It’s almost always someone selling duct cleaning. I say hello several times while buddy on the other end gets his script together.
Hi my name is Bill Evans.
Bill Evans? The piano player? I thought he died over 30 years ago. You aren’t dead are you?
Hello sir, my name is is Bill Evans and I’m calling because you have been selected for a free membership card.
A free membership card? How exciting is that? I can’t believe I’ve won that. I never win anything. What exactly is a free membership card all about?
Yes sir, you can use your free membership card to get discounts on good and services.
I can? Oh wow that sounds wonderful. Can you give me an example of something I could get a discount on?
Yes sir, for instance you could get a discount on duct cleaning.
Duct cleaning. That makes you a winner.
Silence on the other end.
You’re the 15th guy calling to offer me duct cleaning this week, so you win the prize.
Click. He didn’t even give me a chance to tell him I don’t have any ducks or that it’s such a coincidence because I own a duct cleaning company too.