comments 2

Bizarre telemarketer action

I pick up the phone and can here the tell-tale noises coming from some huge overseas telemarketer outfit. I know in my heart it’s a guy selling duct cleaning. It’s almost always someone selling duct cleaning. I say hello several times while buddy on the other end gets his script together.

Hi my name is Bill Evans.

Bill Evans? The piano player? I thought he died over 30 years ago. You aren’t dead are you?

Hello sir, my name is is Bill Evans and I’m calling because you have been selected for a free membership card.

A free membership card? How exciting is that? I can’t believe I’ve won that. I never win anything. What exactly is a free membership card all about?

Yes sir, you can use your free membership card to get discounts on good and services.

I can? Oh wow that sounds wonderful. Can you give me an example of something I could get a discount on?

Yes sir, for instance you could get a discount on duct cleaning.

Duct cleaning. That makes you a winner.

Silence on the other end.

You’re the 15th guy calling to offer me duct cleaning this week, so you win the prize.

Click.  He didn’t even give me a chance to tell him I don’t have any ducks or that it’s such a coincidence because I own a duct cleaning company too.


  1. Salvelinas Fontinalis

    I have the telemarketers pretty much beat and it is rare that they bother me now. I simply started answering the phone in French. If they attempt to drone on with their script I interrupt them again in French and ask them to please speak French only. They totally cant cope with that and it seems that after they hang up they remove me from the National Call List of India and they dont call back. Havent had a telemarketer in weeks.

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