Patychky for Christmas

I’ve posted mother anchovy’s recipe for patychky back on the old blog, but seeing as I’m making a large batch for Christmas this week, I’m going to post it again for those who are interested. Patychky are also known as ‘meat sticks’. They can be made with pork or a combination of pork and beef and veal, or even with chicken, but I usually use pork, and I’m going to show you my way. I’m sure mother anchovy made them just like this, but my sister says I have some parts of this all wrong, including the marinade. Yet, all who try them say oh my God they’re just like your mother’s. Trust me, make them this way. They rock.

Start with an inexpensive pork roast.
Cut it up into cubes that are a little bigger than 1 cubic inch. Some people use smaller chunks but I find the bigger ones are juicier and just perfect.
Chop up an insane amount of garlic – 30 or 40 big cloves is not too much.
Toss the garlic in with the meat.
At this point you have to add some booze. There are a couple schools of thought on this – some folks use sherry – others use beer. I think beer makes the best patychky and I get to decide. So, beer and garlic is your basic marinade. Toss it all together, cover and put the whole business in the fridge overnight. In a pinch you can marinate for a couple hours and it will be OK, but I believe the overnight marinade makes them extra yummy.
Break some eggs in a bowl and lightly beat them for a few seconds. In another bowl, toss in some bread crumbs with salt and pepper. You can add a little cayenne too if you like, but I don’t usually add heat to these.
I should have mentioned earlier that you need the right sticks. They have to be sturdy wooden sticks, about 6 inches long. I get mine at Starsky’s on Dundas St. in Mississauga since Czehowski’s at Queensway and Islington in Toronto closed. Starsky’s has piles of them back at the meat counter.
Take the meat from the fridge and start skewering the meat cubes on the sticks such that you basically cover the wood. Once you have them all done, dip them in egg and roll them in the breadcrumb mixture.
Meanwhile, add a generous portion of oil to a good skillet and heat it up on medium-high. For this, don’t use olive oil. It has to be an oil that can handle more heat, like canola or corn oil.
Brown the patychky thoroughly, 4 or 5 at a time. Don’t put more than that in the pan at once or they won’t brown properly.
Meanwhile, take a roaster and line the bottom with sticks of celery. These are to keep the patychky off the bottom of the pan. I learned this trick from Tuffy P’s mom. Preheat your oven to about 350 f.
As you take the patychky out of the skillet, lay them on the celery in the roaster. It’s OK to have two or three layers of meat sticks – don’t worry about them touching one another.
Bake the whole business for 45 minutes to an hour. After 45 minutes, take one out and eat it. Then put them back in for a few minutes, before testing a second one. This is chef’s privilege. Always observe chef’s privilege.
I have never met anyone who likes meat who does not go crazy for these things. My mom used to make them for every big holiday occasion – and later I found out that Tuffy’s mom did too – basically the same approach.

Patychky are great right out of the oven, cold for breakfast, re-heated in a toaster over, or even zapped up next day in a microwave, if you must use one.

If any of you make these, please report back and let me know how you liked them.