I didn’t teach this morning, so I headed over to Starky’s to pick up a few things, primarily some of their delicious Goralska sausage. For those wondering, Starsky’s is unrelated to the bad television series Starsky anbd Hutch. Most people will tell you that Starsky’s is a European grocery store, but in fact it’s a portal to some kind of parallel universe. Preparation for entry into the portal begins in the parking lot, which is full at any given time. Sometimes there are two or three cars cruising about like strange metal vultures watching for a spot to open up. I lucked into a pretty good parking spot remarkably easily this morning and headed inside through the rain.
The only way to shop at Starsky’s, at least if you want to buy some sausage, is to immediately go up to the deli counter to get your number, and then leisurely do the rest of your shopping while you wait for your number to come up. Today it was like Christmas or Easter in there. The sign read: NOW SERVING 12. I grabbed my number: 76. This was almost too much to bear. The folks at Starsky’s keep the wolves at bay by putting out samples of various sausages for customers to sample while they wait. This creates a feeding frenzy, customers elbowing through, in some cases grabbing enough samples to constitute lunch. Before entering the Starsky’s parking lot, these are regular humans, just like you and me. The parking lot starts the desensitizing process and by the time they get to the deli counter they’re transformed into alien creatures in search of sausage. While I was waiting, one lady ran over my foot with her shopping cart on her way to grab some samples. She apparently didn’t even notice.
The good news is that I demonstrated the requisite incredible patience and got my sausage. The universe is now safe.