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Emergency Measures

The head cold I have just won’t quit. Tuffy P and I should have bought stock in a tissue company because we’ve increased sales significantly. Normally I would treat a head cold with medicinal doses of very good scotch. My theory is that without scotch, a cold can last as long as 7-9 days but if you treat it with scotch it only lasts 7-9 days.  Unfortunately I drained the last of the scotch in the house last week. Time for my backup cold treatment: comfort food. At this point I’ll ask my vegetarian and vegan friends to go do a crossword puzzle or something. I’m going to talk about bbq meatloaf.

This starts with ground beef and ground pork in a ratio of about 2 parts beef to 1 part pork. Add a couple eggs. Chop some onion and a bell pepper and add that in too. The texture of the meatloaf is defined by how fine you chop your onion and pepper. I like mine fairly coarse but you can make yours finer if you please. If you have some mushrooms around, chop some of those in as well. Add a handful of bread crumbs. Spice it up. I used my standard bbq rub mixture + fresh ground pepper. Then, mush the whole business around with your hands until you have some consistency.

When I bbq meatloaf, I make them in foil cake pans. Yesterday, I made three…one was for our 89 year old neighbour next door, who got his along with some of Tuffy P’s homemade chocolate chip cookies…another was for Tuffy’s dad. I form the loaves in the pans, leaving about a half-inch all around. Next, I lay strips of bacon on top of the loaves (cause that’s what mom did and it’s delicious). Then generously cover the whole business with the secret ingredient (cause that’s what mom did and it’s delicious). The secret ingredient is Heinz Chili Sauce.  Shhhh, don’t tell anyone. To do meat loaf on the bbq, you need to have even indirect heat. I use a big green egg, but you can do this with any kind of bbq that allows you to get indirect heat. I suppose even gas grills will work. I cook the meat loaves at 375F. The amount of time you need depends on the size of the meat loaf. For a big one, you could need as long as an hour and a half. About 3/4 through the cooking time, brush on more chili sauce. Be careful your heat is not too high, or you’ll burn the top without cooking the inside and that’s no good at all.

I still have the cold, but now I feel better about it.


  1. bayouchild

    Tabasco has medicinal properties you know-hope y’all are feeling better.

  2. My father’s Newfie cure was to make 2-3 very strong dark rum toddys (rum, hot water, lemon juice, dollop of honey), and down them about an hour or so before bed. Then put on about every article of clothing you own, get under the covers and SWEAT all night. Wake up next morning – cold gone!

    Have to say that it’s worked for me on several occasions. But mostly it’s like my doctor friend Ricardo says: if you stay home, keep warm, drink plenty of fluids then your cold will last 7 days. If you do none of those things then it will last a week.

    You are such a tease! All that talk about bbq’d meatloaf and no photos.

  3. Salvelinas Fontinalis

    Clearly you need to implement the Hat Cure (a treatment which cures almost everything). It works like this…
    1)hang a hat on the doorknob of the bedroom so that you can see it from the bed.
    2)climb into bed with 40 ounces of your favorite scotch.
    3)Drink the scotch until you see two hats

    When you wake up the cold will be gone.

    • That only works with very good scotch and a bowler hat. I’m told it also works with a cowboy had and Jack Daniels but I haven’t tested that cure.

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