July 13, 2010
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The Stupid Stuff Department

I’m all for World Cup celebrations in Toronto. Spanish-Torontonians had quite a party the other day. It turned out that climbing all over a street car was a bad idea. They did all kinds of damage to the vehicle. What’s wrong with celebrating the glory of the motherland by just having a few beers, maybe waving a flag or two? Did they have to trash a street car? Maybe they had excess energy because, like me, they fell asleep during that yawner of a game?

While we’re on the subject of stupid stuff, how about that Mel Gibson? Nuff said.

July 12, 2010
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The problem of mushroom identification

or…what is that little mushroom?

These delicate little mushrooms came up in our front garden today and Tuffy asked, “Mister Anchovy, what are these?” Well, if I had my wits about me, I would have immediately replied, “Oh, they’re Obcsurecybe delicatimus. Poisonous.” Instead, I said, “I’ll pick some and see if I can figure it out.” Never say that.

These mushrooms are about 3 inches tall, with delicate stems that are about the same colour as the top of the cap (the photo is deceptive…the stems are lighter than they look in the photo….good rule of thumb: the photo is always deceptive). The caps are dry and more dun than tan on top and you can see the lines of the gills through the top of the cap. They are very delicate. Underneath, the gills are a rusty colour. I looked at several of them and I was sure the gills were attached to the stem, but this was deceptive too because the mushrooms had pointed caps and it was difficult to really see the attachment. I pulled one apart and looking at it that way, I’d say the gills stop just before they might attach but don’t quite attach. The gills have a very delicate papery quality and you can see in the picture the edges of the gills look a little frilly. There is no distinctive odour and the mushroom doesn’t appear to stain if I bruise or break or cut it. There is no ring, no vulva and no hint of a veil or a ring.

The mushrooms were growing in a cluster of perhaps 15.

I have no idea what these mushrooms could be. I considered doing a spore print and maybe that would help. Some field guides are organized by spore print colour. I know one thing for sure. Even if they are tasty edibles, they are so insubstantial that they wouldn’t be worth harvesting for the table. I suppose this is why mycologists came up with the LBM – the Little Brown Mushroom or the Little Boring Mushroom.

July 11, 2010
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How to make a wild mushroom omelette (Part 2)

Clean and prepare your mushrooms. Try to get all the grit out. Sautee your mushrooms with a chopped up shallot. I’m using three kinds of mushrooms. I like to add a little creole spice at this point.

Make an omelette the usual way. When it’s ready, fold in your mushroom/shallot mixture and serve with a little cracked pepper. Don’t tell anyone you like a little ketchup on the side. Enjoy with a cold beer.

July 11, 2010
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How to make a wild mushroom omelette (Part 1)

Start off by packing some cold drinks and heading off to a forest. If you have a couple huge slobbering canines, they’ll want to come along. Find and pick a selection of tasty edible mushrooms. Avoid the deadly poisonous or the sickening kind. Drive home and have a nap. Give some of your haul to friends and neighbours so they can enjoy them too.

July 11, 2010
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Perfect

I motored home from mushroom hunting, arriving just in time to watch the World Cup final. It worked out perfectly. The game put into dreamland within the first 15 minutes. I awoke later on in the game, just in time to wipe the sleep from my eyes and watch the goal. Was that the only shot taken all game?

July 10, 2010
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My Notebook

I keep a little notebook, a small hardcover job. It looks just like the one in the picture except that I cut the silly elastic thingy off it with an exacto knife. There isn’t anything in it that anyone would much care about: shopping lists, a bunch of phone numbers, some names of books and songs and what have you that I’ve jotted down to reference later. There’s a few scrawled bits of ideas, measurements for projects around the house and so on. When I need to scratch something down, that’s where I do it. Many years ago, I used to keep more of an art notebook with bits of drawings and collage and that sort of business but this isn’t one of those. It’s too good a notebook for the junk I scrawl in it but I like it that way. I like a notebook of substance.

The notebook is gone. I’ve been retracing my steps and I think I left it on a bank machine. My phone number is in the front of the book along with the word thank you but nobody has called. The book itself isn’t such a big loss. Today I’ll get another one and be back in business. But I can’t help thinking that somebody is out there reading my shopping lists.

Buy:
yogourt
cereal for me and Tuffy P
bosc pears
cat litter

This is not exciting stuff, but it’s my not very exciting stuff and I’d like it back. If you find a little black notebook with my phone number in it, please call. We can have a coffee and talk about notebooks.